UNMASKING FEAR: A Culture of Honor is Not A Culture of Harmony

Danny Silk

One of the biggest things the COVID-19 pandemic has exposed is that so many of us lack the tools to have effective, respectful conversations when it really matters—when we’re scared and hurting. 

We are all experiencing levels and kinds of discomfort in this time. At our core, what we really want is someone to listen to our pain and help us meet our needs. We want to feel powerful in a powerless situation. Above all, we want connection.  

Yet so often, fear and pain blind us to these deeper needs and get us to react in ways that only drive connection away and ensure that our needs won’t be met. 

For example, many of us have been turning to social media to cope, connect, and stay informed during the pandemic, only to be swept away in a chaotic tide of dishonoring, disrespectful exchanges full of righteous indignation, accusation, and division. Instead of lowering our anxiety, we have poured gasoline on it. Many lives and relationships are reeling from the pain caused by these interactions.

As Sheri and I have watched the social media landscape and engaged with hundreds of people during this time, we have become convinced that our most pressing need is to recover and grow in our ability to practice a culture of honor. So, we decided to sit down in the Loving on Purpose studio and invite you to a conversation about what the culture of honor is, what it’s not, and how to practice it. 

In this first video, we start right off the bat by pointing out that a culture of honor is not a culture of harmony and complete agreement. Such a culture does not exist among humans, no matter how hard we’ve tried to create it. In fact, the number-one driver of dishonor is the belief, “If we disagree, I have permission to devalue, disrespect, and punish you.” 

A culture of honor creates the context for powerful people to show up to a respectful conversation and pursue connection, listen well, and meet one another’s needs regardless of agreement. It puts the responsibility on each one of us, not to demand honor from others, but to bring our honor to give away. 

Join us for the first video now!

 

 

 

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