It takes time, attention and wisdom. We need to become students of who our kids are. The best way to prepare our children to handle the multitude of options they will have as children of the King of kings is to invest in developing heart to heart connection. This connection replaces the disrespect factory and introduces the honor factory.
One of the primary ways that we show honor to one another is by sharing power and control in our relationships.
When we help our children practice using power from the time they are little, they become powerful people who are not afraid of the forces outside of them. They learn to think and solve problems. They learn to draw on the power within them, the power of the Holy Spirit, to direct their lives toward their goals in life. We want to be able to to say to our children, as Jesus said to us in John 14:9, “He who has seen Me has seen the Father.” He’s just a super sized version of love, freedom and a safe place.
In order to do this, we must purpose in our hearts to maintain an attitude toward our children that communicates this message: “I will not allow anything to be more important to me than my connection to you. Your obedience, your respect level, and your success at chores will never be more important to me than my connection to you. There is nothing that I will allow to sever our connection on my side. And I will work to let you experience the truth of that promise so that I can help cast out the anxiety in your life.”
Here are a couple questions to ask yourself:
- Why is love a greater priority than obedience?
- To what degree do you believe and walk in the truth that Jesus doesn’t want to control you and wants to lead you through a heart to heart connection?
Remember we are all working with the tools that we were handed as children ourselves. For some of you that toolbox may be full of exceptional tools, for others that toolbox may only be filled with duct tape.
Wherever you find yourself in this process, don’t forget to give yourself grace!
P.S. Don’t forget to download our parenting eBook if you haven’t already!