The Power of a Yes – What boundaries are you needing?

Danny Silk

Jesus set boundaries in his relationships.

Let that sink in.

For many Christians, this is difficult to grasp. We have the core values of honor, love for the poor, serving others, laying down our lives, and being the hands and feet of Jesus. It’s easy to think that it is spiritual to offer all people unlimited access to our lives. But everyone who tries to do this eventually discovers that it is not sustainable, healthy, or spiritual…at all.

Look at Luke 8 and the story of Jesus raising Jairus’ daughter from the dead. When the story begins, Jesus has just encountered a whole crowd of people who have been waiting a long time and need something from Him. Somehow Jairus makes it to the front of the crowd and asks Jesus to come and heal his little girl. And Jesus says, “Yes.”

When Jesus said “Yes” in that moment to Jairus, He was also saying “No” to a crowd of other people who all needed healing too.

Ultimately, Jesus said “Yes” to every person He healed and “No” when needed, to other people pressing him for healing. He had dedicated His life to one big “Yes” and that was to live out of complete oneness and partnership with His Father. His “Yes” was to do only what he saw the Father doing.

So, I ask you today, what boundaries are you needing to set in your life? Start today. Simply say “No” to the things you need to say “No” to, and say “Yes” to that which you want to say “Yes” to.


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  1. I am a Believer. I am in a relationship, with an older widower. I find it very hard to set boundaries. He is non practicing Catholic but believes in God. I have been sharing scripture with him. We pray together and believe God answers prayer.

    1. Hi Senaida –
      I’ve been reading ‘The Emotionally Destructive Relationship’, which has good information on Setting Boundaries. It’s written by Leslie Vernick and is a good read all around.

  2. I have one issue with this blog. At the very end, it says: ‘and say “Yes” to that which you want to say “Yes” to’. WANT TO? I need clarification. How do you define that specifically?? We are commanded by Christ to do many things which we don’t necessarily want to do. I am not trying to be obtuse, but I think the vagueness of that statement could be a cause for confusion and misinterpretation.

    1. Jill, As a missionary working among very needy people I found myself continually doing things that my heart was not in to doing because I felt like I was obliged and SHOULD do this or that. The end of all that was a sense of unfulfilled burn-out and a sense of resentment against those I was helping. At other times I have from my heart made even greater sacrifices for someone because I felt God’s love and compassion in it, and the end of that was a sense of joy and closer relationship with Father. You have His Spirit in you, so your TRUE heart wants to do what He wants. Hope this helps.

  3. I have a question.
    Could you write a post or in some way address how to set boundaries in marriage where one spouse is living in sexual addiction?
    How to love like Father God but set appropriate boundaries and consequences?
    This is a hard thing, every case being unique, but I would love to hear your wisdom and insight on how to keep ones love ON and yet draw that line in the sand that says "my marriage is sacred."
    Is there a way to say, "sin no more and have a marriage with me or continue in fornication/adultery and suffer the consequences of losing your marriage because I refuse to be joined with you as you repeatedly desecrate our marriage and deceive and lie to me." ?
    Is that even scriptural? I have been studying The Word seeking to understand Gods heart in this but unfortunately there is not an example given of a spouse who is a believer but who continues in fornication, "repenting" only to return to the addiction a short time later fully expecting to receive forgiveness and trust and intimacy after every "violation."
    This is a subject I feel many can relate to and I feel it is not often addressed.
    Can you please write a short post or something that could add wisdom or insight?

  4. This is the way that Jesus set boundaries. Let that "stink" in!

    Oh yeah, Jesus didn’t care if you were an adulterer or demonized or a tax collector. Jesus just wanted you to come to Him, in faith, in repentance, in obedience.

    Jesus forgives, restores, and heals. Not so that we will condone sin, consent to sin, or continue in sin. But so that we will sin no more.

    Nobody sins willfully when abiding in Christ. Jesus knew what the lost sheep needed. They needed Him. Not for only a momentary healing, but for salvation unto eternity. So yes, we want to say yes to everyone, but let us stick to the mission at hand and stay the course to glory. Let us be lead by the Spirit instead of the crowd.

  5. YES! We must be about the Father’s business; so keeping ourselves up to date in our relationship with the Holy Spirit to do as HE directs us. Don’t get caught up in all the other business of worldly directions.
    Grandma Lois

  6. Hi Danny,
    How do one set boundaries if your spouse feels like you are trying to control him/her if you try to set boundaries. For example my spouse is a christian but socialises with all kind people (girls, women, man, boys) without involving me. At times i hear of functions that my my spouse would have attended without me knowing and if I try to ask to be included in the future events it causes arguments. My spouse refers to these issue as control issues. How can I and my spouse start to set boundaries in such circumstances.

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