How Does Porn Affect Your Relationship?

Danny Silk

Many people today see using porn as either harmless, or at least a victimless crime. In reality, it is addictive and harmful to yourself and your relationships. In this vlog, I will describes the classic effects of porn and how we need to approach them.

PS- I will talk in later vlogs on what to do with the damage and how to heal!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. I totally agree with what Danny shared! My husband had porn addiction our entire marriege, he struggled to be intimate with me, he would lie to me, blame me and it seeped into every area of out marriege. The sad part was he was in absolute denial it was an issue and refused to get help, in the end with all his self hatred turned to hatred towards me. Our marriege didn’t make it. So I encourage anyone who is struggling with porn to get the help. It’s a very big deal!

  2. Allyson, I am right there with you. So sad! I’m in the final stages of my process with the Holy Spirit on trying to make this marriage work. It’s been a handful of years since he’s even hugged me.
    I think I’m going to need some help with believing that there are men out there that don’t have this problem. And it breaks my heart as a mother of sons.
    The enemy has deceived many with this one…

  3. Thanks for all the information. I would be very interested in hearing more about how to educate my son on the sexual feelings he will have as he grows and how he can honour God despite the culture we live in. I struggle to find material on Godly sex education and as a women it’s even harder to know how to equip my son in this area.

  4. I was addicted for many years. God warned me that if I did not stop, I would miss out on something big. I began to seek the Lord with all my heart to get rid of my addiction, as Jesus said to pluck out the eye and cut off the hand. God delivered me from my addiction in January 2013. I met my wife to be around five months later. I later found out that she and I almost crossed paths in a group at church the year before. However, God knew that if I had met her while I was addicted to pornography, I would have blown the relationship. God saved my wife for me until I got rid of my addiction, by his grace. All praise and glory to God.

    Even though God delivered me from my addiction, he is still mending me from the many emotional wounds I inflicted on my own heart. The enemy was after my heart. Praise the Lord, God rescued me and saved me.

    Before I was delivered, I would read Proverbs five and I thought it did not apply to me because it says adultery, and I was only looking. But I now know that I was deceived. Jesus said that if a man looks at a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery in his heart.

    The Lord warns us all to flee these lusts because he loves us and wants the best for us. May we all walk in the freedom of the Lord.

  5. My husband & I are currently in intensive clinical counseling & attending support groups through Pure Desire Ministries for his pornography addiction. This has been a treacherous road but he has committed whole heartedly to this restoration process. I loved what you said about brokenness..it’s the absolute truth. Our marriage is on the mend & the tools & knowledge that we’ve gained from this process has been life changing. And this level of intimacy that we’ve both gained with the Holy Spirit possibly may have never happened without these events taking place. But everyday I’m thankful that my husband is on the road to recovery & we are heading towards restoration. With God, all things are truly possible.

  6. I would love for people to stop erroring on the side that it’s usually the men consuming porn when discussing this topic. As the statistics for women and girls have massively jumped in the past 10 years. It would be a more balanced and less shameful approach for those of us who struggle.

  7. I was married for almost 29 years to a kind Christian man who became a porn addict about halfway into the marriage. The porn addiction turned into sex addiction which turned my now-ex into a mean, vicious man. My ex turned my boys on to porn and my happy oldest son became a depressed porn addict and still suffers from severe depression in his late 20s. Porn use, far from being innocent destroyed my marriage and family. It’s evil.

  8. Thank you for bringing up this issue!
    I would like to hear something about what to do when our children come in contact with porn although they haven’t searched for it.

  9. Thank you, Danny. We are newly weds. My husband says he has struggled with porn since he was a teen and assures me it has nothing to do with me. Bringing that sin into our relationship has everything to do with the beauty of purity and intimacy it seems to me. He says he would like to be healed, however, we don’t have money for counseling. Can you recommend resources (books, etc.) that we can use in addition to counseling? Please address this issue further on you vlog or on a youTube video that we could access. Please help. Help. Help. Help.

    1. I read "Eyes of Honor" by Jonathan Welton and found it very helpful. I went on to buy 5 copies and gave them to people I knew who were having problems in this area.

  10. Hey Danny. I’m a teacher living in China. I’ve completed 6 Life Academy classes (DtR, All 3 101s, Confrontation and PHP). I’ve also read KYLO, Culture of Honor, Loving our kids on purpose, Pathway to Powerful and Business of Honor.

    I’ve been applying the tools and mindsets I’ve learned in my classroom and it’s been amazing, but I would like to hear from you specifically on how teachers should manage their relationships with students and their parents. We’re making a big push to build relationships with the parents, introduce them to KYLO concepts and see their families become more connected.

    Having said that, I know teachers are not a majority audience for you, so a talk specifically on this may not be worth the trouble.

  11. Thank you for this. I appreciate your willingness to talk about the topic of porn which so many stray from. I actually found great value in what you were saying in regards to other addictions as well. Video games, food, so many things. Thank you!

  12. This is so good! I’m glad you’re going to go into damage and healing aspects of this addiction but I wonder if you plan on touching on the attitudes the hurting or unaware spouse can show that increase or promote the problem. (Am I revealing the level of comfort I have with my husband’s problem by this question!? Am I taking responsibility for his need to feel valued or desirable by legitimizing his addiction? …Or is this a real thing too?)

Related Resources

Stay Connected

Receive free resources, stay up to date, and join this community of people on a journey of learning to love, work, and parent with purpose.