Forgiveness is a Big Deal

Danny Silk

Forgiveness is so important in life. But it’s not always seen that way, especially when we are hurt, disillusioned or scared.

We often have an expectation for people to come and apologize to us for their wrongs and we tend to withhold our forgiveness until that moment. However, forgiveness isn’t contingent on another person’s heart posture, it’s really our decision to make.
Jesus helps us think of forgiveness like this…

…The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

 Matthew 18: 27-35

It’s simple enough. Forgiveness is a big deal.

Forgiving people from our heart, in a way that it completely changes how we see them and interact with them, is a big deal in the kingdom. It’s actually such a big deal that unforgiveness is poisonous to our love and our community, the very community that Jesus has put on display.

So, who do you need to forgive today? Are you holding on to any unforgiveness? Follow the example of the master and cancel those debts you are holding against others.

PS. If interested in chatting or learning more on the topic, I’ll be discussing it in a free class, “How to Forgive & the Life-changing Power of Overcoming Hurt.” If you haven’t already, be sure to reserve your spot for June 14 here.

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  1. Thanks for sharing-I’ve got an issue within my family, concerning myself, two siblings, and my nephew- and this issue was founded on and perpetrated by all lies! To this day some 28 yrs later all lies. Just 6 months ago all of it was revealed to me, and to be honest I’m not sure "how-to" actually forgive my brother/sister in law from my heart- like, what would that look like?

  2. You said, Forgiving people from our heart, in a way that it completely changes how we see them and interact with them, is a big deal in the kingdom." Is it possible to forgive an abusive spouse so much that we not only enable them in their Destructive behavior but we as wives become dissallusioned as to what our husbands are doing and about who they are? God’s way of forgiveness is perfect. However, I have felt very confused in my marriage because in the name of forgiveness and not holding an account of wrongs i seem to have blinded myself to some Destructive patterns, etc able my husband to hurt me and my children and clouded my identity/personality.

  3. I understand that forgiveness is inside on oneself … but as far as how it plays out on the outside .. how does one deal with it?.. Does forgiveness mean that we have to be pals again? Or does forgiveness means the I’ve forgotten .. but I am careful in the way I deal with you?

  4. When my children were kidnapped by their father to spite me, when my minister father blamed me and was willing to testify against me, when it duvided my siblings against me, the only way I could find peace was to ask Jesus to forgive tgem through me. An act of my will to forgive broke the enemies hold. My children were found, my father believed the truth, and because I know God loves me I have restored relationships with my sibling and minister Jesus love to their children. I have huge capacity for love. I am known by my love . That’s such a gift!

  5. Forgiveness is tough. But I totally agree that it is a big deal. Bigger than a lot of us think it is. Not only is it giving a gift of freedom to you and someone else it also helps that person to experience and have the ability to love. We all remember the story of jesus and the woman at thr pharaisees home… He who loves much has been forgiven much. When you refuse to forgive it affects your world but it also affects the person you forgive. It may make them feel ashamed and unlovable. I have experienced both sides of being unforgiven and not forgiving both of them are unplesant.

  6. Forgiveness is so freeing and healing, so vital for life. I discovered that I needed to forgive my husband for the ways he has hurt me and yield it to God so He could heal my heart. The freedom is priceless!!

  7. Amen. Sometimes, its hard to forgive because of the damage that the person caused to your life, there is no way to restore it. Like heritage wasted because of them and emotional damage and traumas.

  8. Wow, I have never seen it like this. I think I dont have anyone now to forgive, but I will use this principle in life.
    Thanks!

  9. Although I have declared forgiveness many times to the men that abused me and my family that protected him, I constantly feel overwhelmed with anger lately and thoughts of revenge- I don’t know how to move past this, declaring forgiveness does not seem to be working 😇

  10. After ending a long relationship, I was resentful. I was hurt, and suffered the anguish of those pains. I thought if she would just apologize, I would be free. I prayed and prayed and hoped for that. Then at Azusa, they asked, who do you have to forgive? I made an email, I forgave, and really forgave and was free to enjoy the past, present and future. And I never even heard a response, I just forgave.
    Thanks for the teaching and reminder.

  11. Love this quote!

    "Forgiving people from our heart, in a way that it completely changes how we see them and interact with them"

    It makes me think of a person I have forgiven but I’m now realizing I still sometimes hold that debt against them. Powerful insight! Thanks Danny!

    If forgiveness doesn’t change the way we view and respond to people is it true forgiveness?

  12. On my own journey of forgiveness and learning to walk in love… it is the pain that kept "blood in the water" like a feeding of sharks, my tormentors called in their familiar spirits and kept my pain alive and kept me bound.

    I’d go back for another round of forgiveness and end up berating myself and still not be free.
    In April I was reading Ezekiel 36 and the Lord said commanders don’t send their wounded back in until they are healed. I fasted and cried out to the Lord "Father I need a new heart"

    And that is what He did. He gave me a new heart. By Jesus’ stripes we WERE healed. My new heart came through an Apostolic Teacher who taught that night that Jesus death was to heal us and make us whole, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

    Weeks later I sat at a redlight and red the sign at the crossroads.
    It read "Newtown Bypass" and the Lord said to me I gave you a "bypass"

    I looked up what a bypass is… "the cutting away of a damaged section of veins, pathways to the heart and the grafting in of veins from another part of the body or another person."

    "And His Name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, The Everlasting Father and of the increase of His government there shall be no end."

    Looking forward to your teaching June 14th!! Deb Wilkinson, PA

    By His stripes we were healed, grafted in,

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