Demonstrating Honor – Freedom, Relationships, and Destiny

Danny Silk

During  my years in Weaverville, at Mountian Chapel church with Bill Johnson, and others, I don’t  remember ever hearing a message about honor; I remember seeing it demonstrated in practice. Years later in Redding, people would come visit us at Bethel and pointed out that we had a “culture of honor” present in our environment. At the time, I had not identified it as that because it had become second nature to us. It happened for us slowly over years of demonstration of right relationship. When others would turn against us, the response was love. When someone attempted to speak about another person negatively, there was a refusal to give in to such behavior. Honor, treating others as we would treat Jesus, became central to everything else happening in our midst.

 A culture of honor is not enforced. It is demonstrated.

What was shaping our hearts in Weaverville was a core value that: people become who God has made them to be, in a free environment, full of honor. Our job as leaders is not to control someone into making right choices; it is to give another person freedom to choose to agree with who God says they are by our willingness to live that out in front of them as an example of love.

A few key steps to creating this in your environment are:

1.We demonstrate love and unconditional acceptance grace, and forgiveness

2 We set boundaries preventing another’s behavior from affecting our core values

3. We speak identity and encouragement over them

4. We remove control and fear

5. We give space for others to make mistakes and correct them

6. We demonstrate truth and model correct behavior and right living

When we operate in freedom instead of control, we give others the keys to change their life from the inside. Those who practice honor know it is an inside job.

What are you creating in your environment to give others the keys to freedom within right relationship?


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    1. I have lived by these principles. I have some amazing leaders. Not for the faint hearted. Inside transformation takes time. At times I felt that what I was doing by cultivating a culture of honor was not working. I saw no healthy alternative. I am happy to say in my hour of weak thinking I was wrong. Thank God for his strength to love.

  1. I disagree. Leaders ought to control their members according to scripture. Just look at how Paul told the Corinthians to remove the immoral offender. That’s control !

    1. Control has to do with forcing another to act in a way you want them to act whether or not they have any personal conviction. This is often done through shaming and/or manipulation. Boundaries set a standard which allows the individual to choose based on them coming to the conclusion of right or wrong.
      When Paul told the church at Corinth to put the immoral person out, that individual was already choosing to live outside the boundaries of the moral core values. The leaders were not going to be able to force or "control" the individual to stop sinning. They could only say, "this is the moral core value God has given, if you decide to live within that boundary you can once again fellowship with us."
      This is how God interacts with each of us. He says, "I love you, here is My grace, you get to choose…"

    1. "Our job as leaders is not to control someone into making right choices; it is to give another person freedom to choose to agree with who God says they are by our willingness to live that out in front of them as an example of love."

      Then boundaries would contradict the above statement

  2. We place boundaries on the enemy all the time. But we certainly don’t control him. It’s the same with the flesh. Which also wars against God. God does not control us, yet gave us truth and boundaries for our good. It’s the same with right standing relationship with others.

  3. The word control is used a lot in Christian circles but it is a misnomer. The hebrew and latin reveal that almost every time ‘control’ is used in the bible it is in regards to internal locus or self-control, not a ‘controlling God’ as we too often assume. God allowed the devil the freedom to choose, he fell and God kicked him out. God allowed Adam and Eve to sin, they fell and God kicked them out of Eden. Freedom yet boundaries of self. Danny has insight into this not by merely his own understanding (though he’s crazy sharp) but because the Lord has given him wisdom into this. Why? Ha. He honors God. ; )

  4. I so desire to learn to operate this way as a leader. I have been trying over the last couple years, but there are sometimes situations where I just don’t know what the culture of honor looks like in those specifics. How I wish I had a more mature leader to ask about details from time to time!
    So far, our attempts at giving people freedom to pursue God’s call upon their lives and make choices and clean up their messes if they occur, has resulted in a few of them having secrets and lying and then leaving our ministry. Despite the sorrow and pain we feel, we are trying to forgive and stay connected where possible. It would be so neat to connect with some mentors on this to get some feedback as to if there is anything we can be doing better.

  5. Hindsight is always 20/20! It is amazing when that hindsight brings eternal satisfaction. God graced your leadership team with the ability to walk a course that blessed you in that season and is blessing many more in this season. Let all of us exalt in His goodness, leave the parts of History that reflect Him in the forefront and let everything else stay covered in His blood

  6. So much clarity, wisdom, truth and love in each Danny Silk speaks! Thank you for paying the price Danny! Thank you for the fruit of your life! We send you love!

  7. I will start to practice this in my own home! As i grew up in a very controlled enviroment it is hard and it does not come natural for me!!!

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